The world is an unfair and sexist place, especially for women and other genders that are not cisgender and heterosexual. But the one set of people where any human expects fairness, trust, love, and care is their family. Unfortunately, this Reddit story proves that fairness is a rare commodity, even at home.
A 50-year-old widowed father, with a 17-year-old son and 15-year old daughter, put up a post on the Reddit sub-thread ‘Am I the A**h**e’ asking if he was wrong in asking his daughter to do chores in exchange for tampons and pads that she’ll need every month.
In the post, the man says that some family members called him out because he makes his daughter do chores, but not his son. He explains the reason why.
“I explained it’s because I have to spend extra on my daughter each month not only for her extra curriculars, but for her monthly supplies, so it‘s my way of having her pay me back,” wrote the man.
The girl was made to clean the shared living spaces, scrub the toilets bathrooms in their apartment, and cook four meals a week to earn her right for the most basic supplies any girl her age would need. While the boy is asked to nothing at all.
Also, pads are AT MOST $10/month, which is worth, like, dusting two cabinets, not *all housework for the month*— UNW0MⒶN (@unwoman) October 5, 2020
According to VT, the post goes on say that the father’s brother asked him that if money is the reason, then the son’s extracurricular expenses have been twice as much as the daughter, and therefore he should be doing chores, too. The father had a rather sexist explanation for that as well. He wrote, “I explained he didn’t because I feel his [extracurricular activities] could help him get into college but hers were just a hobby in my opinion.”
The son’s activities were football and baseball while the daughter was in a choir and a dance group, which the father feels won’t get her any job prospects.
Unfortunately, the daughter overheard this conversation and was naturally very upset. Following this, she refused to do the chores which left the father irritated. They had an argument over this and the father, in a fit of anger, said, “I told her she’d still be doing her chores and life isn’t fair so stop being a brat, or I’d refuse to pay for her extra curricular stuff or pads.”
This outrageous statement seems to have really left the daughter distraught, as per Little Things. In the post, the father says, “She packed a bag and took off. She’s been staying with my sister who called me an abusive a**h**e when I demanded she send E[the daughter] home. My brother and sister are coddling her and I’m furious. N [the son] said I was being an asshole to E and that’s why she left. I’m completely fed up with the whole thing.”
The blatant sexism of this father’s actions is just appalling. The father was, in essence, penalizing his daughter for menstruating, something that she quite literally has no control over. And by threatening to withdraw access to feminine hygiene products, he wants to strip her of a basic human right. It’s upsetting enough to know that not all women in the world have access to such essential supplies like this. But a 15-year-old without a mother having to earn them from her own father by doing chores is atrocious.
OP: *does a ton of incredibly sexist sh!t*
Also OP: i’M nOt SeXiSt HoW dArE yOu! I just think my son’s hobbies are inherently more valuable so he should freeload off us while my daughter does girly stuff like sing, dance, and by extension of logic, all domestic chores.
YTA.— Kimberly Anne (@QuirKAnneSnark) October 5, 2020
Needless to say, the comments on the thread were unanimously against the father’s actions. One comment said, “This cant be real…..YTA (ypu’re the a**hole)….you make your daughter to chores because you have to pay for period supplies monthly…..which she literally cannot help? Youre an a**h**e in every way”
Another one, said, “He’s really combing with a fine-toothed comb to justify treating his daughter like an indentured servant. He’s ‘pink taxing’ her existence. Threatening to compromise her basic sanitary needs is beyond atrocious and dehumanizing. Lack of access to sanitary products for menstruation is literally a matter of human rights – and ensuring your children have their basic needs taken care of is basic parenting.”